“Sometimes you search so hard for words. You look for a way to interpret the language of this heart and the unspoken bond you feel. But in the end you are left with nothing but silence. And deep down you hope it’s understood.”
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THEME BY: YaniLavigne
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One of the woes of living away from home is that you missed important occasions, events and the making of memorable memories. Not forgetting sad episodes such as the passing of your loved ones.
I was never good with goodbyes and departures. My emotions are slow to react. Ill be very sad but my emotions doesn’t show. Then, the day after or so, I’ll be balling my eyes out. Yes the crybaby.
Been through a number of passings in the family. But one that caught and wrenched this heart the most was when my maternal grandma passed away in 2011. It was a sudden episode. She was the last grandparent i had after my paternal grandma passed away in 2000. I remember hosting my best friends when they came down to Melbourne. Once, I heard the news from my sister, I knew I had to call home straight away. Was already searching for flights back home but Mum told me to stay put. It was really hard.
Amidst being busy with the funeral arrangements and trying to get everything done as soon as possible. She was pretty adamant for me to stay put and said by the time I reached home grandma will already be buried. So the best possible outcome is to offer prayers for her from where I am.
Indeed, I was motionless through the ordeal. I grab the prayer mat and my prayers attire and pray. Was continuously praying and apologising to her for not spending more time, for not heading back earlier, for I didn’t had time to apologise for my wrongdoings… Ultimately for not being there. I was disappointed. Helpless.
Remembered putting on a strong front but I crumbled and cried non stop when the Mr send me home. I never want to ever be in that position ever again. I promised myself, I am taking the next flight out. Not risking anything and living with regrets.
I definitely understand that turmoil, that heartbreak feeling being away from people who matters the most especially when they are in critical condition. life is short. indeed. Do anything you can possibly do so you will avoid any regrets in the future.
Hard lessons learnt.
I have always wanted to change my hairstyle slightly but at the same time i want to keep my length too as i intend to grow it long.
Heavily inspired by squared face celebrities like Olivia Wilde and Nicole Ritchie, i finally go for it! Blunt wispy bangs! Yes i did!
The moment the Mr walked into the salon, he laughed! He wasnt use to seeing me with bangs. He even forgot i used to have them a couple of years ago! How annoying! So it was a little bit of getting used to..
I lied. Alot of getting used to!
He always prefers me to have my hair up! Always! How boring… but intend to have my hair long and keep this fringe as long as i can!
I really dont mind my new look and love the fresh new color Yumi (the hairdresser) put on it! Cant wait for my hair to grow longer! Weeeeeewwe
Take all the time you need.